The Truancy of a Woman

Sometime In September 2011, I was opportune to attend a marriage seminar and on the flyer it read, “If you fail in marriage, no other success appears to matter”. Just then, a question popped up in my mind; How can I as a woman contribute to making my family what God wants it to be and how can I work along with my husband to make my marriage successful? This question made me come up with the topic, “Truancy of a Woman”. What then is the main purpose of a woman on earth and in a man’s life?

Looking back at creation, Gen 2:18, 21-22, Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him." 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs[a] and closed up the opening. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. Going by this revelation, a woman is first of all, a companion – the ability to keep her husband* company and not make him feel alone (nagging him will make him feel alone even with your presence); a woman fills up the gap where the man cannot – the ability to take care of their home (Proverbs 31) when the husband is away, when he’s thinking of his God given vision and how to answer to God when He needs him (that is, a helper, helping him with the things he cannot do while busy with his vision and working out ways to provide for his family); a woman fits into the lifestyle of her husband – making them equal (one), that is, his vision is her vision, his direction is her direction, his dream is her dream, his thoughts are her thoughts, they agree on one thing and carry it out, they are equally yoked. To sum it up, the woman has the inner strength to complete the man. God takes time to work on the woman to fulfill His purpose in the life of the man whom He has already worked on.

Today, what I see is the “modern woman” recreated by a “modernized world” that is fast passing away; every woman wants to be a career woman and take up the position of the man in her home. Does it mean it’s a crime to be the working class woman? No! It only means that it’s absolutely wrong and unwise to place your career above your relationship with God and your family because you’ll be heading to the land of no happiness, no matter how successful you become. Anything or any blessing that is not rooted in God or controlled by God never lasts; again, whatever you exalt above the plan and will of God will never yield profitable results.

Homes are tearing apart, men are looking outside their homes to find solace in other women’s bosoms (of course, less warming and less comforting than their wives’), because the “career minded” wives are too busy to carry out their responsibilities as companions and helpers. It is very true that the woman should support her husband, but it is a more supported fact that the pursuit of wealth and finances should not supersede the pursuit of peace and harmony in her family. She should learn to balance.

I was opportune to watch a program that aired some years back on teenage boys and girls that found themselves on the streets with some drug dealers and pimps; they were so lost in their dirty dealings that they’d forgotten who their parents were; if they remembered their parents they never saw their importance. During the transformation period, they were asked what led them into those dirty lifestyles, 98% of them mentioned that their mothers were too busy to care for them, some said they never really had the relationship they’d craved for with their parents, especially* their mothers, while they cried alongside their parents, some of the women cried tirelessly because they came to the realization that they would have stopped these kids from being noted for promiscuity, had they paid less attention to their careers and pursuit of vanity and paid more attention to the needs of their families. Some of them resorted to quitting their jobs and making their families what they should be.

Young boys and girls are wasting away in jails, children with great future are dying to be nurtured and directed through the right path, young ladies are looking to have rich relationships with their mothers so they could tell them everything those wolves and devourers out there are saying to them, young men are seeking the attention of their mothers to tell them more about women before falling into the hands of the wrong ones; husbands are craving the closeness they once shared with their wives at the very beginning of their relationship, husbands are looking for the warm breast of their wives that suddenly turned cold because of the pursuit of money and career, men are looking for the wives they married, but their wives have become too “modernized” to be there for their families. The modern day woman is busy hopping from one job to the other, attending parties where not invited, soliciting contracts with her body  meant for her husband, thereby exhibiting low self-worth; some are desperately seeking high positions in the society. I tell you what? Your success is not admired if your home is not peaceful. Stop the relentless pursuit of power and start the relentless pursuit of peace and progress in your homes! Stop hopping from one job to the other and start hopping from one room to the other in your home, checking up on your husband and children (Proverbs 31:27)! Stop looking for friends here are there and start making friends with your husband and children (Proverbs 31:28-29)!

Have you ever wondered why the woman is looked at whenever a family is in chaos and the children are found in the most dangerous places, doing terrible things, like robbery, prostitution, drug trafficking, breaking other people's homes, smoking and drinking, etc? Women, I mean every woman was created with the ability to calm, comfort and make the family especially the man, feel very secure (Genesis 2:23&25), she has the ability to do what the man CANNOT do all by himself, but the woman is able to do these things through the help of God. It is a known fact that the power to make or break a man lies with the woman, that is why a wealthy bachelor becomes drained of his wealth when the wrong or immature woman steps into his life, the “not-so-wealthy” man becomes automatically wealthy when the right women steps into his life (Proverbs 31:11 &12) – now, wealth doesn’t only entail money, house and cars – wealth here covers everything, spiritually, mentally, financially, physically, anything you can think of that is good. Above all, every woman is endued with godly wisdom to run a home alongside her husband, but the problem with this is that the wisdom is beclouded by impure thoughts and ungodly activities because they lack the word of God (John 17:17) in them, as such, most women wallow in their earthly, unspiritual and demonic wisdom, leaving their husbands and children in the arms of the devourers of destiny, (James 3:15&16).

The virtuous woman knows to prioritize her essence – her God, her family and her career. Proverbs 31, revealed that the virtuous woman fears God, cares for her family, submits to her husband, stays busy with her hands (minding her business), when her husband is out; cares for her children and above all, walks in godly wisdom to keep her home in perfect order, WITH God and for her husband. You can still be that woman God intended you to be, only retrace your steps and surrender your entire life to God. That way, peace, stability and fruitfulness will be restored to your life and family.